What does VaporWare™ offer?
- Over 250 application skins
- Create and maintain the illusion of customization
- Please everyone's tastes- from the most hidebound corporate fossils, to the trendiest artfag design firms and disorganized, unprofitable maverick startups
- Optional command-line emulator for convincing Unix compatibility demonstrations
- Multi-Platform
- Sell with ease to Windows™, MacOS and OS X™, and Unix/Linux shops
- Handy on-line tutorials available for PalmOS™ for cribbing obscure platform-specific buzzwords
- Advanced Culpability Avoidance System
- Adaptive protocols kill all system network connectivity silently and undetectably, shifting burden of proof to network administrators
- Patented HeadCrash® technology intuitively predicts impending memory leaks and application crashes, corrupting storage device drivers on any bus- SCSI, ATA, SATA, even IEEE 1394 and USB for maximum plausible deniability
- Thousands of tchotchkes available
- Choose from a huge variety of actual high-quality logo-branded pens, clocks, desk sets, gadgets, clothing, golf clubs, hard liquor, and other items to help win the sale
- Impenetrable support system
- Paid, per-call phone support only reachable through our intricate, looping web portal
- Carefully-hired mulitnational support personnel guaranteed to use the thickest accents and most obscure dialects
- Consultants held safe, by legal contract, from any damages arising from inadequate or incorrect technical advice from support contractors
...and so much more! Call today.
Tired of the uphill battle to sell?
Fed up with vendors focused on the client, not the consultant?
Want to turn a faster buck?
VaporWare™, from Microspork
®, is the answer. A rapidly deployable, easily configurable, allegedly scalable, database-driven, multipurposable, synergistic, turnkey business application that can address any client need, whether CRM, A/P, inventory, order entry and fulfillment- you name it. With VaporWare™, it's a snap to create convincing working models of whatever illusions, pipe dreams, or preconceived notions the customer brings to the table- letting you land the sale quick.
